And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
