A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
