when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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