grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
