For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
