The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
