I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Screwed.edu
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
