Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
