you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
