Dual....:-)
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
