3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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