lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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