I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
