dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There's always time for handjobs
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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