If that was your dad, he is hot
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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