i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
