fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize