Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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