I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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