He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
