we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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