Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you traded sex for a burrito?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
