so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
