don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
