oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
