I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
