Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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