Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
