Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
