Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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