What a fucking waste of an outfit
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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