Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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