we made out on top of his cat.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
