if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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