Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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