he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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