you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
