Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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