Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
