I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
