tell your sister to shave her snatch
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
