I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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