Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
