worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
