i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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