I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
