Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
