well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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