I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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