if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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