pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no you cant smoke seaweed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
