he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
