I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
