Betty ford says i'm here all night
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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