she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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